The Devil & The Turkey

(image: Justin Shearer)

The devil said, ‘Go fish’
The devil said, ‘Go monkeys’
The teacher yelled, ‘Stop monkeys!’
The teacher yelled, ‘Stop babies!’
The teacher yelled, ‘Stop! Rabies!’
‘Stop the teacher’ yelled rabies
‘Stop Mr. Teacher’ yelled rabies
‘Wait, Mr. Teacher!’ yelled Ryan
‘Wait mister!’ yelled Ryan
‘Wait… mister’ whispered Ryan
‘Wait… mister’ Ryan blubbered
Wait… Mr. Ryan
Wait… Mr.
No… sir.
Yes… sir!
Yes, sire!
Help, sire!
Help!
Holy God Loving Pandas
Holy Gestalt Loving Pandas Crying
What the fuck turkey crying
Crying, the turkey fucked what?
Laughing, the turkey fucked what? Where?
The fucking turkey laughed!

I don’t wanna get into a whole blame-game here, but somebody broke our fuckin’ game.  Seriously.  I dunno what was in someone’s bloodstream, but they apparently forgot what we were doing and made up their own game – halfway through.  That means they did it right, at least once, before they just decided to do whatever they wanted.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not full of fussy bitchery or anything – I think it makes things better.  Playing off internet meme #2407, I say:  “Yo dawg, we heard you like random shit. So we put some random shit in your chaos, so you can dance like a monkey while you incorporate modern tarriff restrictions on the selection of fish for hitting and kissing the tarmac.”

-BRP

Picky Sins

I’m not picky
I’m not plucky
I’m not funky
I’m super funky
I’m super
I’m super-duper
I’m super-uper-duper!
I’m super-uper-fly!
I super fly
Superman flies
Super man-flies
Superman died
Superman died for you!
Superman died for all of us
The Wondertwins died for all of us
The Wondertwins died for all our sins
The Wondertwins: For all of our sins!
All of our sins have wonderful twins

(image: paolo.barcellos, Flickr)

I love to try and piece together the strange mental leaps that occur in these games.  Just reading the first and final lines always gives me a tiny thrill.  Cognitive dissonance?  Yay?  The Superman lines remind me of Chris Ware – and his penchant for using Superman-as-God in his comics.  Brilliant stuff.

-BRP

Stephen Hawking to Messiah

Oh hellZ yeah!  The geek gloves are comin’ off!  Give it up, for MC Hawking!

You brought Stephen Hawking to the table
You brought Stephen Hawking to bed
Elvis brought Stephen Hawking to bed
Elvis loves Stephen in bed
Elvis is Stephen in bed
Elvis is courage in bed
Elvis is in bed
Elvis is in Fred
Elvis is Fred
Fred is an ass-hat
Fred has a hat
Fred has a man
Airwolf has a man
Airwolf has a ham
Starfox was a ham
Starfox was a lamb
Star was a fox
Starfox was a fox
Starfox was a Messiah
Starfox was the Messiah
The Messiah was Starfox
The Messiah was Paul

I don’t know about you, but that was pretty hot ‘n tasty for me.  Mm-hm.  Sweet, sexy Stephen Hawking sure does satisfy.  Oh no, no, no – I think there’s something wrong with YOU.  Yeah.  How ya like that?  Uh huh.

-BRP

For The Love Of Coffee

Sorry for the interruption of posting.  Back into the grind now and I’ve got quite a backlog of material!  Cheerio and all that.

I was wrong
I was wrong… NOT
I was wrong, not prolapsed
Prolapsed?  I was robbed!
Tea-bagging?  I was robbed!
Tea-bagging – he did it and robbed
Tea-bagging ~ we did it to Bob
Tea-bagging ~ we did it to get a response
Tea-bagging ~ we did it to get a job
Coffee percolating ~ they did it to keep their job
They did it to percolate coffee
They did it to percolate love
They did it to percolate in my love
They filtered it to percolate in my love
They filtered it to assassinate my love
They assassinated my love!
They assassinated love!
John Tesh assassinated love!
John Tesh assassinated
John Tesh

Assassin? (pic swiped from The Johnny Foreigner)

This particular piece of surreal oddness is very special.  It features the handiwork of one of Thursday Night Coffee’s founding members – Jon Mikel! – on a return visit from the land of maple syrup.  He and Colleen came out to visit and convert the heathens to the Way of Comics.  I think they did a fine job.  They’re safely back in the embrace of Vermont now, but at least we got to see them for a bit.

That’s all for now.  Cheers!

-BRP

Poot

(from Wikipedia)

Feelin’ a little punchy tonight. I’ve just got a little something short and sweet for ya. Another new SG, that we cranked out at Coffee Night. I hope it gives ya some… solace for your weary heart. Cheers.

Put in a paint shaker
Foot in a paint shaker
Foot in a booty shaker
Poot in a booty shaker
Poot in a booty Johnny’s Salt shaker
Poot in a booty shaker
Poot in a booty quaker
Poot in a booty
Poot booty
Poot fruity
Poot

Madness (with video!)

    This is a perfect example of some cross-dicordianism, right here.  We made the S.G., then I recorded (crappy) audio of it being read aloud and then I made a little video out of it.  I could say that it speaks to the power of decontextualisation and… uh, how the transliterative structure of, um, poetry carries with the seeds of radicalized thought… and stuff.  I could say that, but I won’t.

thirty-four seconds
This is dedicated to Hasselhoff.  And Teal.

-BRP

We Are Going To Hell

We are going to hell
You are going to hell
You are going to fart
You are going to fart fire
You are going to fart a fire bomb
You are never going to fart a fire bomb
You are never going to fart a pork bomb
You are never going to fart a pork womb
You are never going to fuck a pork womb
You’re going to fuck a pork womb
You’re going to fuck a pork sandwich
You’re starting to fuck a pork sandwich
You’re starting to shit a pork sandwich
You’re starting to shit my pork sandwich
You’re starting to shit my pork dildo
Bastard, you’re starting to shit my pork dildo!
Bastard, you’re starting to shit my dildo!
Bastard, you’re starting to monkey-fuck my dildo!
Bastard, you’re starting to smell my dildo!
Fuck, you’re starting to smell my dildo!
Why the fuck are you starting to smell my dildo?
Why the fuck are you smelling my dildo?
Why the fuck are you smelling my butt-plug?
Why the fuck are weasels smelling my butt-plug?
Why the fuck are there weasels in my butt-plug?
Why the fuck are there weasels in my baby jesus butt-plug?
Why the fuck is there a baby jesus butt-plug in my weasel?

I’m very excited about sharing this madness here. It requires a great deal of effort, to resist posting everything, all at once. But no, I’m strong, I’ll limit myself to no more than a few dozen posts per day – week! – I mean week. Yikes.

This is an older S.G., but one of my personal favorites. The “Add One, Change One” game is usually the easiest way to introduce people to this type of ‘art’. All I can really say about this piece is, this is the first one that really got under my skin. The effect was electrifying to me. Am I overstating it? I dunno – every time I read the damn thing, I start cackling like a madman. Hope you dig it.

-BRP