Picky Sins

I’m not picky
I’m not plucky
I’m not funky
I’m super funky
I’m super
I’m super-duper
I’m super-uper-duper!
I’m super-uper-fly!
I super fly
Superman flies
Super man-flies
Superman died
Superman died for you!
Superman died for all of us
The Wondertwins died for all of us
The Wondertwins died for all our sins
The Wondertwins: For all of our sins!
All of our sins have wonderful twins

(image: paolo.barcellos, Flickr)

I love to try and piece together the strange mental leaps that occur in these games.  Just reading the first and final lines always gives me a tiny thrill.  Cognitive dissonance?  Yay?  The Superman lines remind me of Chris Ware – and his penchant for using Superman-as-God in his comics.  Brilliant stuff.

-BRP

Equinox Haiku Orgy

This is crazy time
Batshit can be loads of fun!
I am the walrus

 

Pat is the walrus
His tusks are not just for show
Blood waters clover

Hot coconut bras
Nasty, juicy maracas
Make me dance funny

<> <> <>

Convicts do the jive
Baby shake your tail feather
The tail feather is!

The cat hides at night
He is the kitten savior
Shatner loves his pussy

(image: BitchBuzz, Flickr)

Haiku are always so strange.  Sometimes they flow with a perfect rhythm and other times they fall like a brick dropped on a pile of dog shit.  Since these were all created via some communal-mind, addled by copious amounts of coffee, I think I can overlook some of the defects.  After all, it delivered perhaps the Greatest Shatner Haiku of all time.  That counts for a lot.

-BRP

Thunder & Smoke

(image: NASA; public domain)

Listen to my thunder
Cherish silence
Kick, wham, pow!
Kiss, slap & tickle…
Punch, maim, strangle
My belly is full of love
I exude hate
Your love belly explodes with jiggly joy
Salmon are very good to their mothers
My salmon don’t need no baby daddy
The eagle is our sky mother
Brain monkeys love chlorine
Unintelligent mouse lemurs have intense dislike of fresh water
Creatively-inclined monster squids adore hot tubs
What’s that you’re doing?
This wasn’t my idea!
I’m always the one who comes up with stuff!
Do not go softly into that banana hammock
Thrust hard into life’s plush mattress!
Caress the dandy lion of death
Crack doesn’t count
Have you seen your butt on crack? It matters
Ass drugs are irrelevant to this conversation
Can you dance the Merengue in a space suit
You can dance if you want to, you can leave your friends behind
Be a wallflower at your foes’ party
If she smokes, she pokes!

Another new one – fresh off the cerebral cortex!  Or something.  This time it’s a patented blend of opposites and tangents, carefully formulated to make you go ‘WTF?’ – at least, it could be.

More soon.  Lots of catching up to do.

-BRP

A Letter to a Sick Friend

Dearest, darling Trevor,

Have Madeline put edible paint on yourself.  Here are some silly, ridiculous things to remember.   First of all, don’t let them commit you to crazification!

Nobody will know.  For fun, let’s say that we document your stupor.  Watch out, Ed McMahon live in the hospital.  So, maybe in the wee hours.  I wanted her, besides, the buttherface nurse was HAWT!  You better be careful when you drink chicken soup.  The leprechaun said, “You should know, your rats are in my novel.” “Alas! Alack! Hark!”  Then he said, she said, “The End.”  Never trust women in purple.  Watch out, because Barney is an antichrist.

When you are better, come to my orgy.  I invited you.  If you come, we can ride my favorite pony.  We love you because you’re such a little girl.

yours always,
Coffee Night

DOWN is not the opposite of UP

I
I am
I am coming
I am coming back
I am coming backwards

HA! New posts coming soon.
-BRP