Stephen Hawking to Messiah

Oh hellZ yeah!  The geek gloves are comin’ off!  Give it up, for MC Hawking!

You brought Stephen Hawking to the table
You brought Stephen Hawking to bed
Elvis brought Stephen Hawking to bed
Elvis loves Stephen in bed
Elvis is Stephen in bed
Elvis is courage in bed
Elvis is in bed
Elvis is in Fred
Elvis is Fred
Fred is an ass-hat
Fred has a hat
Fred has a man
Airwolf has a man
Airwolf has a ham
Starfox was a ham
Starfox was a lamb
Star was a fox
Starfox was a fox
Starfox was a Messiah
Starfox was the Messiah
The Messiah was Starfox
The Messiah was Paul

I don’t know about you, but that was pretty hot ‘n tasty for me.  Mm-hm.  Sweet, sexy Stephen Hawking sure does satisfy.  Oh no, no, no – I think there’s something wrong with YOU.  Yeah.  How ya like that?  Uh huh.

-BRP

I Love Shatner!

I love Shatner
I hate people without awesomeness in their soul
I love Trevor
I love to verbally pummel Trevor
You hate aurally stroking Addy
I love silently staying PAT
You hate loudly going punch
I’m a bored drinker
You are the life of the buffet
You’re killin’ the buzz over dinner
You’re keepin’ the love alive over brunch
I’m shitting on physical relationships at snack-time!
You create mental solitude for fasting
We destroy physical togetherness against overeating
Nothing is empty, everything is connected

I don’t really know what to say about this.  It reads like a love ‘manifesto’ to me.  You see?  You see how all things that flow from Shatner are GOLD?!  Yes, you see all too well…

Furthermore, I would like to make sure these notes are part of the ‘Record’:

“A good artist borrows. A genius artist steals.”  -Picaso

Dane Cook: a crappy throw pillow

Gene Simmons brand SUGAR: Tastes like ROCK!

I also related the long and lusty tale of the following exchange:

ME:  Gimme a kiss, baby.
Wife:  Ooh baby (kisses me)
ME:  I kinda feel like gettin’ freaky…
Wife:  Oh, really? (laughs) ‘Freaky’ is it?
ME:  Mm hm, I wanna put on a wizard robe–
Wife: Oh God! (laughs)
ME:  … and pull out my +10 Rod of Fucking–
Wife:  (screams, hits me) Stop! Stop stop…
ME:  Aw, c’mon baby…
Wife:  (stifling laughter)  I can’t believe you!
ME:  Make your save versus O-Face!
Wife:  Never say that again! (cringes)
ME:  Ahhh… what?
Wife:  No. (laughs) You’re so bad…
ME:  Damn…

And, I only embellished that story a wee bit!  The lesson to be learned is this:  She still slept with me!  Ha!   I win!  Ommmmm.

Cheers and salutations!

-BRP