Equinox Haiku Orgy

This is crazy time
Batshit can be loads of fun!
I am the walrus

 

Pat is the walrus
His tusks are not just for show
Blood waters clover

Hot coconut bras
Nasty, juicy maracas
Make me dance funny

<> <> <>

Convicts do the jive
Baby shake your tail feather
The tail feather is!

The cat hides at night
He is the kitten savior
Shatner loves his pussy

(image: BitchBuzz, Flickr)

Haiku are always so strange.  Sometimes they flow with a perfect rhythm and other times they fall like a brick dropped on a pile of dog shit.  Since these were all created via some communal-mind, addled by copious amounts of coffee, I think I can overlook some of the defects.  After all, it delivered perhaps the Greatest Shatner Haiku of all time.  That counts for a lot.

-BRP

I Love Shatner!

I love Shatner
I hate people without awesomeness in their soul
I love Trevor
I love to verbally pummel Trevor
You hate aurally stroking Addy
I love silently staying PAT
You hate loudly going punch
I’m a bored drinker
You are the life of the buffet
You’re killin’ the buzz over dinner
You’re keepin’ the love alive over brunch
I’m shitting on physical relationships at snack-time!
You create mental solitude for fasting
We destroy physical togetherness against overeating
Nothing is empty, everything is connected

I don’t really know what to say about this.  It reads like a love ‘manifesto’ to me.  You see?  You see how all things that flow from Shatner are GOLD?!  Yes, you see all too well…

Furthermore, I would like to make sure these notes are part of the ‘Record’:

“A good artist borrows. A genius artist steals.”  -Picaso

Dane Cook: a crappy throw pillow

Gene Simmons brand SUGAR: Tastes like ROCK!

I also related the long and lusty tale of the following exchange:

ME:  Gimme a kiss, baby.
Wife:  Ooh baby (kisses me)
ME:  I kinda feel like gettin’ freaky…
Wife:  Oh, really? (laughs) ‘Freaky’ is it?
ME:  Mm hm, I wanna put on a wizard robe–
Wife: Oh God! (laughs)
ME:  … and pull out my +10 Rod of Fucking–
Wife:  (screams, hits me) Stop! Stop stop…
ME:  Aw, c’mon baby…
Wife:  (stifling laughter)  I can’t believe you!
ME:  Make your save versus O-Face!
Wife:  Never say that again! (cringes)
ME:  Ahhh… what?
Wife:  No. (laughs) You’re so bad…
ME:  Damn…

And, I only embellished that story a wee bit!  The lesson to be learned is this:  She still slept with me!  Ha!   I win!  Ommmmm.

Cheers and salutations!

-BRP