(image: labanex)
the ABCs of Musicals We Want to Exist
(thankfully, they don’t – but we still think about them)
a) ANIMAL! The Musical!
b) Berthold Brecht’s ‘BARBIE GIRL’
c) CHILDREN OF THE CORN
d) DUKES OF HAZZARD
e) EASY-E: A Life In Song
f) Fozzi Bear does ‘RENT’
g) GRAPES OF WRATH
h) HAMLET ON ICE
i) INCONVENIENT TRUTH: TRUTH IN SONG
j) JURASSIC PARK
k) KLINGONS IN LOVE
l) LEMURIAN DAYS, THULIAN NIGHTS
m) MARS ATTACKS
n) NIETZCHE! THE MUSICAL!
o) OPTIMUS PRIME
p) PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS – The Rock Opera
q) Q: The Brain Behind Bond’s Gadgets
r) RASPUTIN! The Man, The Mystery
s) SADDAM HUSSEIN & FRIENDS!
t) TITTIES! (how they’re awesome, why we love them & how they saved the world!)
u) UNDERWORLD: ROCKS! ON ICE!
v) VAMPIRELLA: DEAD SEXY
w) WORLD WAR III (a musical history of the apocalypse, with dancing zombies)
x) X-MEN
y) YOUNG GUNS II
z) ZEPPELIN: THE MUSICAL
If you’re like most people, you may wonder at some of these entries. For example, why would you need/want a musical about Led Zeppelin? Or a dirigible-zeppelin-balloon thingy? Hell, you might not even know that ‘Puppetry of the Penis’ is a real book.
Wait. If you’re really like ‘most people’, you wouldn’t be reading this… Hm. You must be a freaky deaky, crazy pants kinda person. Good. Carry on!
Oh, feel free to think of this as a ‘To-Do’ list. In a world where ‘CARRIE: The Musical!‘ actually existed – however briefly – is one where all things are possible.
-brp
I want to see ALL of these.