Cougar Burger

A: “… and I had a Cougar Burger –“

Me:  “Wait. You had a Cougar Burger?! Oh my god – that’s so dirty!”

A:  (laughs) “Oh, you know it is.”

E:  “Oh my god. It’s like an older woman’s BEAV!”

And so, we come to the musical portion of tonight’s festivities.  Based on idiotic morning dj “antics”:  Your Favorite Sex Act, As A Food Name.

Blow-pop
Reece’s Pieces
Double-Decker Taco
French Dipper
Stay-Puff
Quarter-Pounder with cheese
Rooty-tooty, fresh ‘n fruity
S’mores… mmm…
Monte Cristo
Mountain Dew
Hand-Dipped Milkshake
All-you-can-eat seafood platter
Cake ‘n Eggs
Fun Dip
Pie ala mode
Bullseye
Pigs in a blanket
Chocolate-covered pretzel
Hootnannies
Snickerdoodle
Cougar burger
Hungarian goulash
Fish taco (too easy!)
Fine aged cheddar
Red vines
Key lime pie
Original Grand Slam
Creamed Bagel
Stuffed french toast
Twice-baked potato
Creamed corn
Bangers and mash
Chocolate fondue
Cherry Garcia
Pulled pork

Please – PLEASE! – if you have more… don’t tell me.  I seem to have lost my appetite from just this much.  For a really funny time-waster, try to figure out who wrote down which food item.  Uh huh.  I mean, I’ll readily admit to putting down Pigs in a blanket, ok?  That’s nothing like the Double-decker taco – which is just plain disgusting.  Ew.  Oh, wait… it’s like two vaginas!  Nevermind.

-BRP

Play with your food!

    I’ll be the first to admit that our Coffee Night shenanigans can get outta hand.  The near-total abandonment of civil ‘norms’ is what caused me to start calling it the Poor Man’s Algonquin Table, after all.  Besides the farting (TJ) and the inappropriate touching (TJ!) and the utterly disgusting, gut-churning things some people say (TJ– oh wait, that’s me), we also like to play with things.  Sometimes, we take pictures.  Enjoy.

mmm… how’s that smell?

finger food!

still tender

why does this one bother me so?

ahhh… foot butter…

SQUISHY! squish squish squish!

And, finally, I’d like to introduce you to…

the pickle skier!

No, I don’t really understand ‘why’ either.  That’s ok.  It’s all part of a process.  What process?  Hm, howzibout “the process of transformative context, via the mechanism of cognitive dissonance – interruption of normal, expected narratives in the actions (lives) of common objects (such as food) brings new insights and discoveries; to the meanings of the objects, the relationship with the viewer and most especially to the world around us”…

Of course, I could be talking out my ass.  Maybe we are just playing with our food.  Ya know, either way…

-BRP