Action Figure Cave?!

Ladies and gentlemen, I (not so) proudly present: The ABCs of ASS!

(I couldn’t resist the temptation…)

(image from Wikipedia)

A
Ass
Action figure cave
Anus

B
Butt
Booty
Badonkadonk
Back door
Brown eye
BUHgina
Buns

C
Crack
Cavern
Cracker-ass
Chocolate starfish
Cheeks
Can

D
Derriere
Dooky machine

E
Enema zone
Ew
Excrement exit

F
Fart factory
Flesh pocket

G
Guteous

H
Heinie
Hershey highway
Humps
Hamhocks
Hot pockets

I
Ick
Ink well

J
Junk in the trunk

K
Kaboose

L
Lower lumps

M
Mudflaps
Mangina

N
No-man’s-land
Noise maker

O
O-ring
Other vagina
O-zone

P
Poopsmith
Poop chute
Park ‘n ride

Q
Quarter-pounder

R
Royale
Rump
Rump roast
Rectum

S
Situpons
Sphincter
Shitter
Sputnik
Sweet juicy ham

T
Tuchus
Toilet topper

U
Underbits
Uranus
Undercarriage

V
Vagina 2: The Sequel
VAG2

W
Waste wagon
Wagon yer draggin’
Wazoo

X
XXX*

Y
Yum-yum

Z
Zeppelin

I can’t believe I almost forgot to post this!  It might not seem significant to you, but this game holds some pretty powerful in-joke, meta-humor weirdness.  My gawd!  “Action Figure Cave”?!  Holy shit.  It’s a long story, but all I can say is this: I will never touch another, uh, used action figure if I can help it.  Ew.  Ew, with a capital WTF?

This game was just a spur-of-the-moment thing, while we were busy doing another game.  Given that, I’m pleased that we managed to nail at least one for ever letter.  Obviously we missed some, but we were just seeing what popped out.  So to speak.  (ahem)

Please – by all means – feel free to add to our collective ‘wisdom’ in the comments.  Cheers!

-BRP

PS:
“Why Zeppelin for Z?” you ask, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

I say, go to hell.  Whether we’re talkin’ about Led, or the dirigible kind, it’s always classy to end with ZEPPELIN!  w00t!!!111eleven!!!

Things To Do Before You Die!

Another ABC, but this time as a list.  Ooh, we love lists…

Allow myself to do something dirty.
Blow Trevor.
Cruise in the Bahamas.
Discover what it’s like to have three wives.
Eight guys at once!
Find the little man in the sailboat.
Gestate.
Happen upon a treasure map.
Invent a new language.
Jump off a cliff into water.
Keel-haul with penile pirates.
Let somebody else drive for a change.
Make James pay for the damage to my soul.
Name a disease.
Own a medium-sized country.
Put it in the action figure cave.
Queef one million times.
Rock out with your cock out.
Seduce a kindergarten teacher.
Take candy from a baby.
Unearth El Dorado.
Virginity:  reclaim it.
Wrangle baby kittens for charity.
X-rays: get them, look at them, show them to your friends.
Yank on a fart.
Zap zappable things!

For those who are curious, “action figure cave” will become clear in the next posting.  We talked a lot about fetishes this week.  Strange, dangerous and downright wrong.  The biggest realization that I had is this:

“No matter what you are doing – at any given point during the day – someone, somewhere is will to jerk off to it.”

Think about that for awhile.  Better yet, don’t.  Just act natural.  Sure.

-BRP

A B Cs of Evergreen

Anarchy begins with dreds, ends with graduation
Bullshit!
Come to seminar and listen to stoned babbling
Didactic, pedantic love finkle
Everyone has Issues…
Faculty with strange backgrounds
Ganga!
Here, burn this sweetgrass, your aura is smelly
I feel that racism is everywhere – especially at the North Pole
Just ’cause you’re smelly doesn’t mean you’re right
Kick back and become Aware
Large dropout rate
Maybe I’ll go for a dual focus; Awareness and Russian History
Never live in a kitchen-less dorm!
Organized resistance opposed to organic oppression
Pure minds get released among the crowd
Queer & here… & there… & there too
Red Square is neither red, nor square
Stupid, pointless classes
Trustifarians have all the good drugs, man
Urban sustainability
Vegan variance
Why isn’t anyone as politically correct as me?
X-rated interpretive dance is frowned upon
Young Republicans hunted like witches
Zambone-a-tron is my new legal name
Ñyet, I say, Ñyet
© my reflection paper – it’s that good
Über-trustafarians forswear bathing, until Daddy’s money dries up

Ok, ok – before anyone gets their nose outta joint, I may need to point out this little fact: about 80% of the folks who worked on this are current or former students at TESC. Ok? Chillax. Of course, the main thrust of this particular piece is dwelling on the negative, but that’s just the way art IS sometimes.

Really, it’s not Evergreen itself that we were bitching about. It wasn’t even the students. More, it was the strange mindset that some students seem to fall into. You know the kind… The change their name to something terrible, or renounce their citizenship, or go to jail for rioting and destroying a police car… and then they blame their problems on “the System”. Let me give you all a little piece of wisdom:

“Unless you’re in the hills, stockpiling weapons, you are workin’ for the Man.”

Cheers!

-BRP